So I’m pregnant… again… and I can’t say that I didn’t see it coming but I can say that when it happened I was shocked. I struggled to take my birth control and the Holy Spirit kept planting the seed of another baby in my mind to the point where I began keeping clothes and things I would want to have for another baby if I did have one.
My cycle had become pretty regular after giving birth (which I wasn’t used to due to having PCOS) so I kept using the app that tracked my ovulation thinking it would help me to evade pregnancy. So when February came and the slip up happened 😏 I began holding my breath knowing I was at the tail end of my ovulation window. Day 28 of my cycle came and no period…. I waited each day and 5 days passed… no cycle. My breast had began to feel funny and that’s when I knew I had to take a test.
Before having my first baby I was a chronic pregnancy test taker. I took a test for anything so naturally I thought the test would be negative. As you know by now, the test was positive. I stood in disbelief. How could I be pregnant! Why would God allow this to happen. We could barely afford one baby, now two 😭.
I cried and cried and immediately fell into a depression that gripped me so tight I could barely function. Everyone around me did their best to support me and help me but I hated every moment of it. I wanted to be left alone. (Shout out to my Mommy & Me small group and church family who allowed me to be sad and cranky. THANK YOU!)
My daughter was the only thing worth smiling for. Her joy kept me going. Two months of darkness and I’m finally seeing the light. At moments it’s still unbelievable that this is happening but the reality is that life is full of twists ans turns. We can make plans and try to have it all figured out however life is going to still bring things we don’t expect.
If there’s one lesson I’ve learned from this, it would be to make sure to not leave God out of your emotional processing in times of hardship. It’s important to process with God. He knows what you are feeling and He wants to walk with you through the storm. Please let Him❤️
Thanks for reading.
Have you ever experienced a season of shock & depression like this?
If so how did you allow God to carry you through it?
Looking forward to hearing from you😊
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