Sometimes the hardest times to write are in the most grateful moments. I find myself at a loss for words unable to adequately express my gratitude or the complexities of my emotions. This is one of those times, but in face of reality there is a need to press on so I will even if I’m my opinion it’s not pretty. May 19th 2024 will be a day to remember. I had the opportunity to speak on what I call “the big stage” at church all on my own. It’s not the first time I’ve spoken in front of my church as I’ve been given the opportunity to coteach with my senior pastor but this time was different.
About 6 weeks prior to speaking I felt like I was drowning. Life was difficult and I didn’t see where I would be able to come up for air. I knew my pastors wanted to allow me to teach and I contemplated telling them I couldn’t do it. Then I felt a nudge from the Holy Spirit. Speaking is a gift. It’s nothing I was formally taught or trained in, it was a grand gesture from the Heavenly Father that continues to amaze me. At times I can get in my head about it and think I’m not good enough or that nothing will come of the gift. In that moment of contemplating I realized that the gift God wants to use through me , I have no right to stand in the way of even if my circumstances look bleak to me. So I made a commitment that no matter what it looked like I would follow through and allow God to use the gifts He put in me.
Honestly it took some of the pressure off because I knew I didn’t have the strength to write a message or speak but God did and He always does. That’s what matters.
So I began my journey to preparing to speak. It was hard and nerve wrecking but so humbling. To be able to speak to my church family , to see them interacting with my message and be proud with me… it was amazing. I’m so thankful for every opportunity the Lord allows me to show what He has done in my life.
If life is difficult and God is prompting you to use your gifts, keep pushing. Surrender your gifts to God and he will give you strength to execute.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV
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