When I rededicated my life to Christ, a lot of what I was certain that I knew began to look like false truths. I had fed myself with knowledge of worldly things and ideals that just no longer seemed of use to the new creation I had become.
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. (Proverbs 1:7)
I was a fool. I blamed my parents for how messed up I was in the head, and I blamed exes for a savage, get what I wanted, how I wanted it, and when I wanted it mentality. Looking back I now know that I just had no type of discipline to take responsibility for my own actions. I did not have the wisdom to step away from the situations that brought me anxiety. I didn't even know how to crawl out of the depressed state I had dug myself into long enough to save my grades in school.
The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly. (Proverbs 15:14)
Folly is what I fed on daily before I accepted Christ back into my life. Foolishness and houses of smoke where Netflix and chill next to a warm body was my main goal. If I knew then what I know now this new knowledge would have changed a lot of things.
I cannot go back and right those wrongs. I am blessed to know that the moment I began to fear the Lord, the moment I decided to hand my life over to the one who knows the beginning to the end, a world of knowledge opened up to me. What I once knew is now a testimony and a platform for what I now know. My discerning heart avoids any thing that looks remotely like my past life before my mind even realizes whats going on. I thank the Lord for that because being a fool just is not cool.